Wedding fashion: What NOT to do
I married into a Persian family and some of the valuable things I’ve learned as a wife is to always have nuts, fruit and tea available for impromptu guests, greet everyone with a kiss on EACH cheek and if they criticize you blatantly be happy; for it means you are officially accepted. Getting ready for any wedding is tough, getting ready for a Persian wedding is a whole different ballgame. Allow me to give you some insight into my hits and (mostly) misses when it comes to wedding fashion. Shortly after our wedding my husband and I were invited to a cousin’s wedding on his side.
The venue was a Hyatt Regency, a large, modern hotel with typical grand ballrooms and sprawling courtyards. I knew it would be formal, so I fast tracked my way to Macy’s and bought a simple black and white floor length gown with tasteful beading along the neckline. I didn’t opt for professional hair and makeup because I felt my skills as a former makeup salesperson would suffice. Wrong, wrong, wrong…I showed up to the wedding embarrassingly underdressed. My clearance gown a mere sundress in the sea of sequins, furs and jewels. I learned my lesson and vowed to avenge my fashion faux paus next time around. My second chance would take more than five years but this time I was ready.
The stakes were even higher as the destination wedding would take place at the Ritz-Carlton in Maui. It could have taken place in the middle of Antarctica and it wouldn’t have dampened my plans; all I heard was Ritz-Carlton/Persian/Wedding and I immediately knew I had my chance at redemption. This time, I spared no expense. I had my gown custom made on a trip to Thailand, with gold treading, intricate beading, a silk chiffon bodice and lace sleeves. I splurged on Givenchy rose gold chandelier earrings, and made my hair and makeup appointments weeks in advance. As I emerged from my room I caught a glimpse of some of the other guests- short beach dresses and embellished sandals caught my eye but I wasn’t deterred. While I was whisked away to the ceremony I began to worry; really worry. In the throngs of linen pantsuits, backless maxis and bare feet (yes, it was on the beach after all) I realized I f*c&ed up yet again.
I knew beach wedding meant effortless elegance and yet my horrifying experience made me forget all I knew and I looked as if I was attending high tea with Winston Churchill. I was flooded with embarrassment yet again and broke away after the ceremony to change into a cocktail dress that was still too formal by Maui standards. Fast forward to this past weekend, where my nephew’s Santa Barbara wedding beckoned me and my terrible fashion sense once again.
The pressure was intense; I went shopping multiple times and returned my fair share of gowns before deciding last minute on this champagne hued number. Heading to the wedding flooded me with that same anxiety about my appearance. Would I look freakishly over-dressed? Like I tried too hard and failed. Would I be under-dressed? I doubt it but anything is possible. Would anyone but me give a damn? Probably not but pictures are forever.
In the end all turned out OK…I got enough complements on my gown to statistically prove that it was appropriate. I felt comfortable and pictures turned out decent. The best thing that came out of this experience is that I am over my fear of failing at wedding fashion. There are so many more important things that I’m terrible at; I’ll be busy focusing on those from now on.
(My always fashionably chic sister-law and I after the ceremony)
