I laid down in the spa room, it smelled like Lavender and Citrus. A fresh Brazilian wax had just happened and I thought I could finally breathe easy and pull up my pants…not this time; oh no, the fun had just begun. As I laid there making small talk (a necessity if you’re ever spread eagle under fluorescent lights with a stranger) while the usual facial preparations began. A nice herbal infused steam, soothing cleanse, refreshing masque, careful extractions, etc. Only this wasn’t going on upstairs; instead, my vajay was getting the royal treatment and frankly, it was a nice change.
No, I haven’t given up on treating and caring for my face and body. After all, back facials and body wraps have always been just as important as European facials and other basics. I had heard of Vagacials, Vajazzles, V-Steams, etc. and thought “finally, WHOLE body care.” I mean who decided that brows and hands should get all the attention? After all, whether you’re an adult film star and having a pleasantly exfoliated crotch is a tax write off or if you’re a SAHM who wears Lula Roe and Pinterest’s Buffalo dip…shouldn’t you take care of yourself head to toe? It’s your right ladies…ingrowns be damned!
Anyway, rant over…back to the treatment; so while the pleasantries continued and my entire groin area was getting buffed to glowing perfection I finally started to relax and actually enjoy the spa experience. Not in creeper way, just as a “why have I restricted my V to Dial soap while my face gets La Prairie Caviar Serum?” As I pondered this, my aesthetician, Ferdi (who by the way is one of the sweetest, most professional ladies in the spa industry I’ve ever met) started mulling over every square inch of me looking for ingrowns.
I foolishly announced that while she was welcome to complete her treatment she probably wouldn’t find any as I had been waxed and lasered to oblivion and all that investment must surely pay off. My pride was premature, as she began uncovering what felt like enough hair to make a small wig. Moral of the story…if you are going to take time out for yourself remember there’s a lot more to you than the neck up. Sometimes you have to let go of modesty and open up your mind in the best interest of self-care and camera-worthy nudes…jk, well, not really if you’re into that sort of thing 😉
